I mean, luck? Russell's gonna burn down that orphanage. DEADPOOL: No, no, no, no, no, no. RUSSELL: Find the biggest guy and make him your-. Colossus tries to move his hand, but relents. A shelf falls and decapitates the orderly who was pinned down. You probably get this a lot, but I am a huge fan. Gender neutral. This thing... COLOSSUS & WADE: That's not how Cerebro works. Wait, you can't go back. I've got the old man. They turn their attention back to Juggernaut. Bad news is the whole team is dead. Planets. But I can now. With Erin Karpluk, Tyron Leitso, Vinessa Antoine, Reagan Pasternak. Something I could never master. He flicks his cigarette up into the air. Don't scratch! I want to belong to something, like you, Pool sir.Deadpool : Dopinder, you never cease to surprise me. HEADMASTER: Let's get you inside, young man. Vanessa turns to him. Juggernaut picks up Colossus. Deadpool appears to die. DEADPOOL: Am I getting catfished here or...? Colossus says, "Come quietly or there will be trouble," which both Deadpool and Russell recognize as a quote from this film. You know the one. Cut back to Wade, who gets up. WADE: So weird. As Cable gets up, Russell begins running again. Directed by Philip Earnshaw. Deadpool puts Zeitgeist’s picture on a wall. The prisoner pulls Russell out of the way. I'm dropping in. Cable looks at he grenade and puts his shield up. So, uh, where are you from? DEADPOOL: Hey! He knocks some cups over. I'm dying in this one, too. Yukio ties Juggernaut’s legs together with some electrified chains. He's unstoppable. WADE: Heart's in the right place. No, I'm gonna stick around for a while and make sure the world doesn't shit itself into oblivion. Sergei watches a security camera from inside as one of his men screams at him. Russell sits at a table. A whole bunch of functional idiots. Maybe even Black Tim. As he begins to transport, he screams. Never. Deadpool gets out of the cab. Nearby,he’s placed the burnt teddy bear on a table. Russell stands outside surrounded by Police. I'm dropping in.Deadpool : Uh, that's a negative, sole survivor. Which literally translates to: I don't bargain, pumpkin-fucker. Answer: a family. RUSSELL: Watch my back. Unless you've got a grenade. I can't trust anybody! He called you Justin Bieber. Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. Well, guess what, Wolvie? You wanna borrow a pair of pants? Juggernaut kicks Cable into a nearby car. Vanessa walks over and jumps into Wade’s arms. Cut to Zeitgeist standing before the table. Domino stands watching the fight between Colossus and Juggernaut. Rule two. Okay? The first order of business is to get me in front of Cable so I can pull all the fucking blood out of his body and fashion his bones into holiday jewelry. is a 1983 song composed by Michel Legrand with lyrics by Alan Bergman and Marilyn Bergman, for Barbra Streisand in the title role of Yentl. People nobody would touch. The trio stands before the gates together. Russell sits down. And she looked up at his smooth, handsome face and said "I want some more." DEADPOOL: You time-sliding son of a bitch! WADE: Whoa! Right next to a huge, steaming bowl of foreshadowing. I like it. WADE: I don't give a fuck about him, and his, “Are you my mother?” complex. Wade Wilson : Sorry I'm late. The headmaster begins escaping. Showtime, mama! HEADMASTER: Welcome home, Russell. He's really teeing it up, isn't he? WEASEL & DOMINO: I only do over the pants, mouth stuff. But that's where you'd be wrong. 'Cause I got a long history of firing at times like this! NEGASONIC: How something so small generates enough energy to reverse time is-. DEADPOOL: Hang in there, Doms! DEADPOOL: Stop, stop, stop! DEADPOOL: I haven't always been the best friend to you. Do You Want to Build a Snowman? They both watch Zeitgeist parachute into a woodchipper. Besides, we're X-Men. Deadpool : No, you did it for me. The guard pushes Russell into a cell on the convoy. This kid needs to be in the Ice Box, not here. The truck careens right. RUSSELL: Say it. Russell looks over. They should've just amputated it. DEADPOOL: Uncanny X-Men 183. Russell shoots a fireball at Deadpool. We need to build a fucking team. The X-Men Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead are back from the first movie, as is Blind Al, Weasel, and Dopinder the taxi driver. Cells 7, 12, 14, 27. And nobody fucking realizes it. Daniel straps Russell to a chair. Label everything in refriger- Wade? DEADPOOL: Settle down, Captain Lucky. This time Colossus is hit. Oh, it's slippery, too. Bred into it. Until one day, he kills the wrong fucking people. Codswallop. The taxi exits the alley as the men stop chasing. Cable appears nearby and begins approaching the truck. Deadpool approaches the truck. Both of 'em? ZEITGEIST: Do you want me to demonstrate? Cut to Juggernaut picking up the bus. DEADPOOL: Well, I got news for you. Domino is still in the air, following it. Undoubtedly, Ryan Reynolds, The Deadpool, has done one of […] Russell turns. Russell mimics legs with his fingers and then flips Deadpool off. DEADPOOL: My world tour brought me home to this guy, Sergei Valishnikov. Dopinder : Oh, I shit my pants.Deadpool : Actually, that may have been me. CABLE: Best I can do. WADE: I loved her. Domino walks through the truck, firing at Cable, and passes Russell. Juggernaut begins approaching them. Zeitgeist screams as he’s pulled into the woodchipper. And like a lot of dicks, he's as hard as a rock and causes nothing but problems! Phew. He turns all of the dials on the oven on and breathes in the gas. I'm not going anywhere without you. Number one, I'm gonna bend something. I'm gonna go there, and I'm gonna be their Superman. Noel Coward • 16 Dec 1899. Cable shoves his hand in Deadpool’s face. I want you to have my Adventure Time watch. I didn't. DEADPOOL: You killed Black Tom, you racist son of a bitch! Deadpool places a picture of Domino on the wall. The headmaster opens the door. DEADPOOL: Like an online predator who lost his laptop. CABLE: She always struggled. God bless America. What about Bruce? RUSSELL: I can't trust you. Vanessa jumps behind the couch. Wade Wilson : Papa, can you hear me? But you've always been that to me. Deadpool throws a business card on a table. Big CGI fight coming up! Al, Wade, Domino, and Weasel all pull out guns. Sergei fires a shot and hits Vanessa. DEADPOOL: Those guys hurt you? JUGGERNAUT: Yeah, but he's in a wheelchair, so even-steven. I have three questions, then. Pelvis to pelvis. Wade Wilson : Isn't that how it always works? Colossus holds his hands up to his nose and says something in Russian. It lands near the scene. Zeitgeist and Bedlam high five. He holds the skee ball token in his hand. Cable approaches the truck from the front. He scans them. Cut to Shatterstar standing in front of the table. Left! I'm flowing. CABLE: I said, "You remind me of my wife.". Sluggo punches Russell again, knocking him out. You trusted me. DEADPOOL: I'd rather die of cancer. WADE: Give me that back! Ugh. I literally don't know what that means. Vanessa sits nearby. That's not CGI, folks. Pelvis to pelvis. Cable pulls out a knife. Deadpool explains the plan to the group in the back room of the bar. I'm very sorry. Ryan Reynolds (Wade Wilson / Deadpool) #Music. DEADPOOL: Shatterstar. Yukio waves. WADE: Oh, my God! Go on. He takes a Toaster Strudel out of a mini-oven and throws it across the room. The same scene from before the credits plays out again, sped up. is a song from the 1983 romance film Yentl. Deadpool: You did. Take it or leave it. Say it! We should just cue the music. PETER: Okay. Cable: No, I didn't. DEADPOOL: Thank you, Bedlam. Deadpool is revealed to have killed Ryan Reynolds. You guys be safe out there. Time out! Deadpool and Weasel look over some headshots of potential team members in a back room. Wade turns to leave. So, from our family to yours, keep your pants dry, your dreams wet, and remember, hugs not drugs. Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.Deadpool : ...I'll never not picture that. CABLE: He came into my home and took the only thing that made it a home. This is the family that I've always dreamed of having and I… Ah, shit. WEASEL: Do you have the courage to check and see if there are enough sanitary napkins in the dispenser? Or better yet, head back a little further, kill baby Hitler. Two, which Sharknado are we on? Deadpool giggles. Russell punches Deadpool into a nearby building. Deadpool pulls out a power-dampening collar. As Cable throws the guard away, Wade jumps down and pushes Cable to the ground level. They're growing back. It's why I'm cursed to be a solo act. IRENE: A mutant boy is appearing to have some sort of an incident, with police here behind me. Cable shoots at the cell and it explodes. You did this for me? If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. DEADPOOL: Hang the laundry out at 1,300 feet. Wade quickly returns everything to the way it was. I'm gonna touch them all over. Colossus gets up. Justin Bieber. The kids begin escaping through the bus. WADEL That is the biggest guy in here. Thank you, baby. Wade quickly dispatches a series of men with objects from the kitchen as they try to shoot him. The good news is, I don't think anyone's gonna miss Shatterstar. You were like, “Uh!” And I was like, "Take a seat, shit dick.". DEADPOOL: Just once, I'm gonna find a planet of people that are worse than me at everything. Cut to a record player in his apartment. DEADPOOL: I'm not even gonna look, because you did it for me. She runs out of bullets and picks up another gun. Since Deadpool observed that "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" sounded suspiciously similar to "Papa, can you hear me," fans have noticed more and more of the similarities of the two songs? Cut to a shot of the convoy, then back to the helicopter. Back in the present, Cable drinks a can of beer. and Do You Want to Build a … Wade gets up from the street and begins running over. Promise me one thing. I'm never gonna dance again. "Deadpool : Don't want to.Dopinder : When Tom Cruise fed 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood for the first time. Russell screams. NEGASONIC: Give him a chance. I could barely keep a straight face. The driver pulls a gun on Domino, but it has no bullets. WADE: Oh, boy! The prisoner punches the ground and sens the entire truck flying and the bridge crumbling. I, uh… Is it the kid? Let's go tip to tip. I can't bring him down alone. We have a deal and you fuck-. As he goes to kill Wade, Russell stabs Cable with the pen. Deadpool flashes a thumbs up to the pilots. I want to fill my-. He called you Justin Bieber. Talk! The teddy bear Cable carries around loses the charred blood. Probably a guy who can't draw feet! “If I Could Turn Back Time” by Cher begins playing as the credits start again. Buck catches him. We're talking about an armored convoy, and a vicious super soldier from the future that is looking to turn your skull into a fuckable ashtray. Whistling is heard off screen. I didn't have a family, either. The one in Minneapolis.

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